A poem

i am tired so i shall post a poem i had floating around

Love Lorn

I remember her romantically
Though i never knew her that way
She was the love I lost
Or at least the love
I will never gain
I have had many loves since then
And born fruit through one
BUT
She who is my first love
Will always be in my heart
Though it is never to be
To say that I have lost hope
Would not be true
I will always have
That sweet feeling
But reality
Or what passes for it
Is where I exist
And there I know
It can never be
BUT
One can dream
One can hope
One can wish
One can cope
One can laugh
At times gone by
And I will love her
Until I die

Lost friends

I was talking with Keri the other day and it dawned on me, I have lost contact which everyone i knew in my childhood..All except for her.

Melody, Emerson, Ginny, Cole, Daniel and his sister ...All of them gone disappeared off the grid. Ghosts.

one could argue that those were childhood friends from Houston. That loosing touch was inevitatable.
i moved to Georgetown, TX when i was 12 just before my 13th birthday.

Ginny and i wrote letters to each other often, even after she moved to Maryland, right up until she graduated from collage...Then i lost contact. Even in this age of the internet, I've failed to find her. i miss her insults and her jokes.

Melody moved away wile i still lived in Houston, one could say she was one of the first real friends i had. We wrote like children do, meaning not very often. When i finally got online several years ago my mother and hers started to exchange email and i got her's ...She never responded and so i gave up.

Emerson also moved wile i was still in Elementary school. We never wrote..All i knew is that he had moved "to Alaska". But here is where the small world effect kicks in. One summer years later (i was 15), after i had moved to G'town, i was at the local ice cream parlor (yes..They still exist). i sat down and ordered a sundae and looked to my right at the young man beside me. i thought ~damn he looks like Emerson~ and so being the forward person that i was i said to him "you know you remind me of a friend of mine"
he looked at me a moment and said "yeah you look kinda like someone i know too"
"yeah but you can't be him, that was back when i lived in Houston, and he moved to Alaska"
his eyebrow raised a bit "i was from Houston and i live in Alaska"
"i stared at him "Emerson?!?"
he stared back "Sheridan?!? Holy Shit!"
come to find out, his grandparent lived in G'town as well and he was visiting for the summer. But of course summer ended and i have not seen Emerson since that time.
but that was Houston...Surly your local friends...
nope, no such luck...With a few twists....
Zane...And his brother Zack, Sean, Kevin (who was my nemesis all throughout junior high), Doug, David Davis, Steven, Dan, Andrew, the other Andrew, Lauren and so many others i have lost track of.
but oddly enough
Michel who was one of my main nemesis in high school (we did not get along at all) ended up marring C.J., A.K.A. EX wife#1. He treats my son with kindness , does not badmouth me when my son is around. I respect him for that. Just for the record C.J. split on amicable terms, we are more like siblings than a married couple, and we fought like it....We did not want our son growing up like that.
Ness,Ex#2 also went to high school with me, though she ended up moving into Austin before my junior year. She and C.J. were good friends, sort of, and after she moved we lost track of her, then about 5 years later after C.J. and i had married we were at the mall and lo and behold, there she was running a little jewelry kiosk. We chewed th fat awhile, discussed old time and once again she faded from my life...Fast forward about three years. i was working for ExxonMobil and she pulls in to get gas for her cab., so one thing led to another, a few platonic get togethers then....Boom. i shall save that story for another time.
Lately though the friends i have made online seemed to have stood the test of time. J-chan, Night, Kilroy, SaraJo though a few i do not talk to often enough.none of them have disappeared.
i hope it stays that way...

The portrait....

This is a very wonderful portrait done by the very talented Tonic Reale. I have not heard hide nor hair from him in a couple of years. It honestly worries me a bit. I met him Many Many years ago in a Yahoo group.
It is there I also meet a couple of life long friends Otooto-J (now calling himself Jayel Aheram, his blog is here: http://aheram.blogspot.com/ ) and Night (her yahoo profile is here: http://profiles.yahoo.com/nightlight61). At the time a was using the name Wyldmandann_1 and called myself "the dragonwolf." and so..Such was my character. A half dragon half werewolf freak.
The story behind the picture is that Tonic was drawing portraits of various members online personas and ask if he could do mine. I told him sure, I thought it would be cool to see Wyld done by another artist as my own drawing style was, is rather primitive at best.
well as it turns out the portrait looks absolutely nothing like my character, but looks EXACTLY like me! What makes it even more spooky is that at the time I didn't have a picture of my self on my profile... Or anywhere for that matter.
my mothers response was typical "He got the stringy hair down pat"
and so to my friend a say, Tonic where ever you are send me a message.